With our uncle (my godfather) sick, I’ve been thinking lately about aging and the aged. I see the Beadlady’s parents becoming less mobile, less clear thinking for instance and it makes me think about my own mortality and life, in general.
What does frugality get you? I’ve recently been using a mental model for my personality where I’m a farmer, not a hunter. I’m not placing a value judgment on either option, just accepting it as a given. Yankee frugality comes to mind.
Using that mental model I have a couple of insights. I’m less of risk taker, a common trait among so-called adult children of alcoholics. Typically, one of the consequences of living in that environment is that a kid is overly responsible, even in youth. You want control over certain parts of life (possibly extreme control) because you know that other parts of your life are unpredictable and painfully chaotic.
Okay. Well that sounds a bit true, but so do horoscopes at times. Objectively, I am less of a risk taker and more of a stick-it-out through this drought and hope for the best next year. One of the consequences of that (metaphorical) farmer mentality is that sometimes you stay in a failing situation too long. Note the bounty of depressed farmer stories. There are times when perseverance and hard work will not fix a situation. The situation is irredeemable.
My question is does this ring true for anyone else? And if so, how do you know when it is irredeemable?
This intersect with aging most definitely. For example, Dad seems to hate, literally hate, where he lives right now. Why doesn’t he sell and leave? Well clearly he isn’t a hunter in this part of his life. Plenty of people buy/sell/move without a lot of angst. That’s not characteristic of this family however.
It seems that Dad would be well served to make changes in his life that would more suit his current needs, but he doesn’t. The same goes for my in-laws. They could surely sell their currently home and move into a more elderly friendly environment. In fact, they could have done that earlier too. But they didn’t either, prefering the comfort of their own, well-known environment.
I’m not suggesting that they should have moved. However, objectively speaking, it is harder to do it now. What does this mean for our own lives?
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