I know that I occasionally use the blog for some catharsis, self-reflection, inward thoughts, okay, whining. But so what.
The question (a meme) that I pose today is what do you really want to do? Even more than that, how often have you really known that? And, what does the word really really add to this discussion?
When I was telling my friend Mark that I wanted to go France for a month a couple years ago, the rest of the conversation changed my life. He said, “how often do you know what you want to do?” In the ensuing silence, he said “you can afford it, right? This is something you want to do and you know you can do.”
It was the proverbial light bulb moment. Right then I was grateful for a friend who basically could cut through all the BS. And I made up my mind. That act gave me such clarity. I find those moments rare. Partly because I tend to dismiss the other part of my brain that allows me to acknowledge that I really want something. There are other reasons, too.
There’s a lot of reasons for that voice: fear of embarrassment; not having the means; what will other people think when they discover I have those thoughts.
I’m not trying to re-invent pschycology or anything here. I’m just curious how often it happens that all those things come together? For me, it has been rare.
I knew I wanted to go to music school, too. That too was clarity but it was a lot more of an evolution than a singular lightening bolt.
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